labour day

right now i'm feeling rather fortunate i'm out of the school system cos each year at this time labour day will really mean labour day, and we'll be stuffing all that darned info into our heads and memorising like mad.
i'm beginning to rediscover the wonders of writing, the way we put our thoughts to words and just let it all out. do often there's so much to say, so much emotions bottling up within us that we dont know where to turn to spit it all out. last night i stayed up writing in my huge notebook that joce gave me for christmas(beautiful orange jordi labanda book,a really good choice),just spilling all my intestines out. but now i wonder if that was just a burst of emotions or really what i had been feeling all this time,released in black swirls of partially legible handwriting.
there's so much to think about, so many happenings in the world right now, yet we are oblivious to them. so many children waiting to be loved, so many disillusioned people suddenly finding themselves lost in a world they once knew...we are so fortunate where we are. but yet we are constantly finding ourselves wallowing in self pity, so caught up in the little troubles of our own we forget the real issues out there. the world is constantly moving, and if you dont pick urself up and go, no one will wait for you. it's time to sit up and pay attention.

right now, i'm in search of the confidence that i thought i once had. i wonder if insecurity has a cure? i'm so afraid of falling, so afraid of failing i dare not try. i feel so restrained within myself, so misunderstood sometimes. does it make sense at all, i wonder.

i think. i need to find myself.